Wedding toast.
A wedding toast has one job: make the room love the couple a little more. Here's the shape, three openers that work, the mistakes that don't, and a writer that drafts from your stories.
A wedding toast is two to three minutes: who you are to them in one line, one story about the person you know best, the moment you knew the two of them were right, and a toast. Keep the ex-partners, the stag night and anything you'd whisper out of it entirely.
Write my wedding toast
Three true details in, a draft out. Read it aloud once, then edit — the good one is the one in your voice.
The shape that works
- 1
One line on who you are
'I'm Jo, Lexi's sister, and I've been waiting twenty-eight years to embarrass her in public.' Then move on.
- 2
The person you know best
One story with a point. Pick the one that shows the trait their partner fell for.
- 3
The moment you knew
When you first saw them together and thought: oh, that's it. Be specific — the kitchen, the look, the thing one of them said.
- 4
The toast
To both of them, one sentence about the years ahead. Glass up. Sit down.
Three openers that make people lean in
If everyone could raise a glass — I promise this is short, and I promise it's true.
I've known Lexi since she was four. I've known she'd marry someone like Dan since the first time he laughed at one of her terrible puns.
Dan asked me to be best man and then immediately asked me not to tell the story about Lisbon. So here's a different one.
Swap the names. The point is the shape: a moment, a number, a story — never 'for those who don't know me'.
What to leave out
- Anything about exes. Anything.
- The stag or hen night, in detail.
- In-jokes that leave half the room out.
- Going past three minutes. The food is waiting.
- Reading from your phone without looking up.
Questions people ask
How long should a wedding toast be?
Two to three minutes — 300 to 450 words. The parents' toast can be shorter; the best man's should never be longer.
Do I have to be funny?
No. One true, warm story beats a routine. If a joke comes naturally, keep it; if you're reaching, cut it.
What do I write in the card?
The toast line, or the 'moment you knew'. The speech is for the room; the card is what they read again on their anniversary.
The card, and the gift
The speech is for the room. The card is what they keep.
The speech is for the room. The card is what they keep.
Put the toast line in a card — free, in a minute — and add a gift they choose themselves if the moment calls for it.